04 September 2011

On the Road



[It's only downhill from here.]

This story starts with a lip-synching performance that is terrible beyond belief. Vicky Sawyer is a talented singer that has been away from her family for much of her career.
Her husband Cal takes care of the business portion of her singing career and narrating this story. He seems like an all-around good guy, understanding of her demanding schedule and never complaining about a life her shadow.
Their daughter, Molly, looks like she was the third twin on Sister, Sister. She pitches in to help with her mom’s career and small errands like delivering mail. She is excited that she will be traveling with her mom on an upcoming tour of New York. This family is simply too perfect.

Cal gets a phone call from Vicky saying she will be in the area for a short period of time before continuing on to Jacksonville. The connection on the phone is terrible but Cal thinks that Vicky asks them to meet at a place called “Faisdodo.” Ha. Like there’s really a place called. . .
[Well Shit]

Turns out this place used to be a hip joint, but now it’s a blown knee. ANATOMY PUN!! The dilapidated South Florida restaurant is closed, with metal bars covering all the doors and windows. Obviously, this is the romantic place you would want to share with the one you love. Cal notices the padlock isn’t attached and assumes that this is a warm invitation to pull back the big metal gates and waltz into an abandoned restaurant. On entering the establishment and realizing that no one was there. Or had been there. Or would ever be there again, Cal makes the obvious choice and waits around. He tells the audience that Vicky has a “special gift” waiting for him. It’s probably a breaking and entering citation. Suddenly, the door opens and a woman’s silhouette is haloed by a blinding light. Is it Vicky, the only person in this story who knows to meet Cal in an abandoned restaurant? Nope. That’d make sense. Instead it’s Molly.


[Good golly]

Vicky had told Molly to meet her and Cal at an abandoned restaurant as well, and she doesn’t think twice about the bars across the door stopping her. What is it with this family and trespassing? After some reminiscing about how important this restaurant is to the three of them, they discuss how important family is, and how Vicky is going to retire soon to spend more time with them. It becomes painfully obvious someone terrible is about to happen. And this is Beyond Belief so most likely one of these characters will have to die.
Will it be:

1.     Cal- loving, supporting husband, self-sacrificing, humble, and all-around good guy. Corner stone of a family that is constantly on the go

2.     Molly- subservient, well-rounded daughter. Hot. Dances. Not much else is known about Molly.

3.     Vicky – who hasn’t had a single line of dialogue, no characterization and hasn’t been seen except in the brief prologue. Also, she has terrible phone reception.


The emotional choice would be Cal. The man has given up his life for his family. He knows that Vicky’s career is her dream and he is willing to do everything in his power to help her achieve it. He also knows that it is giving his daughter a better, more comfortable life. To die without living himself would be the true tragedy.
The stomach churning choice would be Molly. Nobody wants to outlive their hot daughter. She has been helpful to the family and is excited about her upcoming visit to New York. The only choice that wouldn’t be effective would be if Vicky were involved in some sort of plane disaster and never able to make the phone calls that got the family together at the abandoned restaurant.


Just then Cal gets a phone call with much better reception letting him know that exactly that has just happened. Vicky plane crashes at 10:30 in the morning but the phone calls couldn’t have been received any earlier than 11:15am. Vicky COULDN’T have made the phone calls because her plane had already crashed. The icing on the cake is a lost earring that symbolizes how they will “always be together” that was lost years ago. This piece of expository dialogue brought to you by dues ex machine. Sure enough, cheesy after-effects nearly blind Molly as she spots something on the ground. Reaching down, she picks up the earring that was lost decades ago. Right under the exact same table they always sat at. Who would have thought it’d be in the first place they should’ve looked to begin with?

[Bling! Bling!]

Dale’s Comment: They’re never really clear on whether it was local time or not. What if they just didn't calculate the time difference? Honestly, this was so boring it had to be true. Fact.
Casey's Comment: That lens flare is beyond belief. Fiction.

Fact or Fiction: Fiction

Afterword: This is a really short story and misses a lot of marks because of it. There are no emotional connections because there isn’t time. It isn’t until it becomes obvious Vicky is dead that any attempt at attaching heart strings is made. And at that point they are so loosely adhered that any yawn bores them straight out. The subplot with the ring is tacked on even later and feels overdone. Dale fast forwarded about halfway through a ten minute story and I don’t blame him.

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