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| Eat Fresh! |
Now there is something you need to know about this story. This is where the entire first season’s budget went apparently. It all went toward putting a camera on the front of a subway car. So this scene above? Get used to it. It’s everywhere, every transition in this story, every jump forward in time. It seriously makes up the majority of this story. And it’s also part of the title sequence for the next four seasons.
Al and his girlfriend Anne are headed to a dance club for their date night. They’re involved in a long term relationship but still go dancing together, so this one is obviously going to be fiction. They decide to take a new subway line in the city of Los Angeles. It’s Al’s first night off in a month and they are going out to dinner and a movie. But I thought I just said dancing? So did Anne. She says she just wants a romantic night together, and what's more romantic than a subway ride in LA? When they get to the platform, they don’t realize that they are the only ones there. And when they get on the train, they still don’t realize they are the only ones there. Al literally pushes Anne on the train because he is in an awful hurry to get to the Dancing Dinner Movie. When they find their seats, and there are plenty because the train is empty too, they look down the aisle and see a man in a tuxedo.
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| Lurch use mass transit. Lurch save mother Earth. |
Cut to the subway cam again. Anne lets us know that there is a “weird energy” and that Al was more intuitive to it. When the train gets to the next station and opens its doors, nobody gets on and nobody leaves. When they look back the fashionable Lurch is standing much too close for an empty train car. Anne asks the man in the tuxedo if this train goes to Melrose and he replies, “This train goes nowhere.” It obviously goes somewhere, stop being an obtuse ass and stop using your backwards Yoda talk. “The train doesn’t go anywhere.” Was that so hard? The couple bicker about whether the station they just passed was Melrose and the lights flicker. The tuxedoed man that was feet away from them has now vanished. They finally realize that the train isn’t stopping at any stations. Cue Subway Cam, but this time let’s make it blurry because the train is going faster. Anne deadpans, “It was no longer a speeding train, it’s a nightmare out of control!” I never have control of my nightmares, but I think that a vehicle that only moves along tracks is about as “in control” as a nightmare can be.
They get off at the first station they can and find out that they are right back where they started. As they are coming down the stairs, Lurch is using the escalator. They make it back home in thirty minutes or less so their subway ride is free but they realize the neighbor’s apartment smells of gas. Anne bangs on the door to wake up Mrs. Ewing but nobody answers. Al pushes her aside and says, “Let me try.” Then he does the EXACT. SAME. THING.
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| Step aside honey, let me do a worse job at it! |
Al tries to break down the door but he only succeeds in breaking his shoulder. Luckily Anne knows where she hides the key and only after Al has tried several times does she offer to open the door. They enter the gas filled apartment and Al rushes to aide Mrs. Ewing. Al carries Mrs. Ewing a full two feet away from the apartment to make sure they are safely outside any possible blast radius, even though Anne is still in the apartment. Anne is busy looking at her neighbor’s pictures, as we all often do in gas-filled rooms, when she realizes that the creepy man in the tuxedo is in one of the pictures. They find out that the man is Mrs. Ewing’s husband who has promised to always watch over her.
Brolin gives a pretty good guess as to the nature of the mysterious train ride. A service train during an odd hour of night, on a new subway line wouldn’t stop at all the stops and would probably go faster than normal. How does this relate to the tuxedoed man and the widow? It doesn’t. A coincidence that they came home early and saved her life. And looking at pictures in a gas-filled room might distort your memories or blur vision, it’s equally as likely that she misremembered the man on the train, as it is that she couldn’t see the picture clearly.
Brolin One-Liner: “Was the shadows of the subway playing tricks with their minds, or are we playing tricks with yours?”
Number of times Subway Cam is used: 5
Alternate Title: No! Sleep! Till Burbank!
Anna’s Comment: Hard no. 30 minute subway ride? In Los Angeles? And they ended up back where they started? Fiction.
Luke’s Comment: Los Angeles doesn’t even have a subway except the sandwich shop. This is Fiction.
Jordan’s Comment: I have a theory. This is Al’s FIRST night off all month. We aren’t told where he works but let's assume he works in the transit authority. He’s been to Mrs. Ewing’s House before, right? Knows what her late husband looks like. Follow me on this. His coworker is a Mr. Ewing doppelganger…
Luke’s Comment: Can I change my vote? I like where this is going.
Jordan’s Comment: Right? Al isn’t panicked about the out-of-control subway because he’s in control. His buddy is the engineer. He just wanted to stay home and relax so he has the train double back in only a half hour. How else can you explain this?
Anna’s Comment: What about Mrs. Ewing? Was that a coincidence or did he also break her furnace?
Jordan’s Comment: Gassed her to save her life. It was an elaborate ploy to get laid. Also I think this story is Fiction.
Sam’s Comment: Why didn’t he try to kick the door down? If you’re having a medical emergency call 911. Fact
Casey’s Comment: It is a well-known truth universally acknowledged that ghosts are quite fashionable. Fact.
Dale’s Comment: That old lady regained consciousness almost immediately. And they didn’t go very far to get away from the gas. Other than that, this wasn’t all that unbelievable. Fact.
Fact or Fiction: Fact
